Big White Bird

Way way back in July, I anticipated the likely results of a full-out battle between Rob Halford and my neighbors, the miniature ponies. Today, I challenge the likes of the local music community.

I am currently singing second-alto in a local community choir. 70 folks, mostly white or lacking on top, color the choir. A few recent Lawrence University grads, and myself, help even the inevitable tremolo that comes with age. Don't get me wrong, this isn't some glorified church choir, we are conducted by the Director of Choral Studies at Lawrence University and receive endowments, which far surpassed my estimation.

We perform three concerts each season. And it seems we host a guest artist each concert as well. We were joined by a Salvation Army staff band last October [image below] and will be joined by a deaf choir [Glee, anyone?] this December. Our choir has an executive committee that picks each concert's theme a year in advance. Not being a member of the committee, I don't know how we came about deciding upon this season's guest artists. Considering past themes, which have included: "Gypsy Spring, a celebration of Gypsy music," "All Creatures Great & Small, the music of animals" and "It's All About Sports, a Packers game set to famous choral pieces," I don't think the likes and dislikes of the refined music community are necessarily taken into account.

I'm a speck of tan in there.

An estimation of score card ratings and comments from audience members of both concerts:

Gregg (Male, 49, Business Professional)

Band: 9 "When that one old lady got up to play that solo, I didn't expect much, but, "Wow" she did really good. I liked the uniforms."

Deaf Choir: 6 "I forgot my glasses at home so I couldn't really see what they were doing with their hands."

Lorraine (Female, 78, Retired)

Band: 10 "I love that kind of music. Carl and I, before he passed, used to see the band concerts at the high school. You know, Carl used to play trumpet in the old army band. Him and the guys used to play at the church bazaars. Before my legs got bad I used to dance and dance. We had so much fun."

Deaf Choir: 10 "You all sounded like angels. I am praying for those deaf kids tonight. You know, I think Fran might have a deaf granddaughter."

Brad (Male, 23, Undecided)

Band: 8 "I liked the drums."

Deaf Choir: N/A "Deaf? [pause] Shit. That sucks."

Renee (Female, 54, Assistant)

Band: 7 "I enjoyed the energy the band brought to the concert, but if they hadn't played, couldn't the concert have ended earlier? Two hours is too long for me."

Deaf Choir: 10 "I am an open and accepting person, unlike most people around here. You know what I mean."

The deaf choir better get to practicing if they hope to get Brad's attention. And I better, too; we will be performing 11 songs in just under a few weeks time. Not sure I will be able to continue on for the spring concert, because of my NINETEEN CREDIT semester ahead, so if anyone wants to purchase my elegant floor-length rayon grandmother-of-the-bride dress and sheer 'flowy' dress jacket for $200 (yes, that is the going USED price), please drop a comment.

Your witchy ringmaster demonstrating the 'flowyness' of the dress jacket.

In other choir news, I was accepted into the university's chamber choir this morning. Costume swap? May I please show that I have a figure? Very few straight young men go to choir concerts, enough said.